


Stained Glass II: Jagged

by BradyGirl_12



Series: Stained Glass [2]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Wonder Woman (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Canon Het Relationship, Drama, Established Relationship, F/M, Gang Rape, Het, Het and Slash, M/M, Male Slash, Non-Consensual Violence, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Series, Sexual Violence, Slash, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 20:42:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BradyGirl_12/pseuds/BradyGirl_12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve struggles to come to terms with what happened to him on an alien planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cold, Cold Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Claim: For the [DCU_Freeforall](dcu_freeforall.livejournal.com) Challenge [(Diana/Steve)](http://bradygirl-12.livejournal.com/355507.html)  
> Prompt: T 12; P 42: Scar/Scarred  
> Prompt Count: (13/15)  
> Spoilers: For [Stained Glass I: Shattered](http://bradygirl-12.livejournal.com/tag/stained%20glass).  
> Original LJ Dates Of Completion: December 11, 2009-December 18, 2009  
> Original LJ Dates Of Posting: April 11, 2010-April 23, 2010  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC does, more’s the pity.  
> Original LJ Word Count: 450 + 667 + 532 + 1159 (Total: 2808)  
> Feedback welcome and appreciated.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares won’t stop.

  
_Jagged shards,_  
 _Sparkling_  
 _Like diamonds_  
 _In a necklace,_  
 _Or sunlight_  
 _On-the-sea._

_Jagged shards_  
 _Sparkling,_  
 _Streaked_  
 _With blood._

_Broken pieces_  
 _Of what_  
 _I once was,_  
 _A danger_  
 _To myself_  
 _And those_  
 _I love._

  


**Emily Adams Cutler**  
 **“Yellow Roses And Other Poems”**  
 **1859 C.E.**

_“Come on, Yellowhair, let’s see what you’ve got. Mmm, you taste good for a man who lets his woman lead him around by the nose.”_

_The weight crushed him as he fell to his knees, the hard ground scraping naked skin as he struggled to breathe, fetid breath warm on the back of his neck, jagged teeth ripping into his flesh as pain lanced between his legs…_

& & & & & &

Steve bolted upright in bed, heart racing as his body shook, his scream fading as the wind howled around the cottage, rattling the windows. Looking around wildly, he realized he wasn’t on G’darra anymore. He buried his face in his hands, trying to calm down.

Still shivering, he got out of bed. There would be no more sleep tonight.

He dressed in warm clothes, jeans and blue-and-white checked flannel shirt, and workboots. He shrugged on a heavy winter coat, putting on a dark-blue knit cap and heavy, fleece-lined gloves. A long, dark-blue scarf was wound around his neck, and he went out into the cold.

He gasped a little. It was bone-chilling cold, the wind slicing through him, but he welcomed it. He needed to _feel_ something besides raw pain.

The waves crashed on the rocks as he walked along the beach. The Atlantic was gray-green, roiling under a leaden sky, the horizon lighter, indicating snow on the way.

Steve hunched his shoulders against the wind, letting his Celtic blood register the sights and sounds, welcoming numbness.

He was _so_ tired of hurting.

He was tired of failing those he loved, of constantly fighting to keep the memories of what had happened to him on an alien planet from overwhelming him like the waves over the New England rocks, of feeling like jagged shards of glittering, blood-tinged glass that could hurt himself…and others.

He closed his eyes, the wind shrieking mournfully like a lost soul.

_Just like me._

The howling grew louder and Steve blocked his ears, shaking as he tried to block it out, stumbling onto the sand.

He was cold, _so_ cold, inside and out, and he couldn’t get clean, no matter what he did…

He tore off his coat, hat, scarf, and gloves, threw off his boots and ran into the ocean, gasping as the icy-cold water hit his body, but he pushed forward desperately, needing to get clean, get _clean…!_

He plunged into the frigid sea.


	2. Not The Only One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark tries to comfort a distraught Diana.

  
_Pain is never_   
_A solitary burden_   
_When one loves_   
_Another._   


  


**Emily Adams Cutler**   
**“Yellow Roses And Other Poems”**   
**1859 C.E.**

Diana stared down at her herbal tea, starlight shining in the liquid. Her shoulders were uncharacteristically slumped, lines of tension around her eyes and mouth, her tiara slightly askew.

“Mind if I have a seat?”

Diana looked up to see Clark, a gentle smile on his face. “Certainly not.”

Clark slipped into the seat next to her.

The Watchtower cafeteria was nearly empty. Things were quiet right now, no urgent missions, which Diana regretted. She could really use less time to think…and worry.

“You seem under-the-weather.”

“Interesting expression.”

“One of our many American colloquialisms.” 

Diana laughed softly. “You really are of this world, are you not, Clark?”

Clark’s smile was warm. “I am.”

“Does it bother you, not knowing Krypton?”

“I know of it.” Clark looked down at Earth slowly rotating beneath them. “I wasn’t born here, but I can’t remember any other place. Krypton is my heritage. Earth is my home.”

Diana smiled slightly. “You are special, Clark.”

“So is Steve.”

A shadow crossed Diana’s face. “Yes,” she whispered.

Clark grasped her hand and squeezed it. “He just needs some time alone for awhile.”

Diana sighed. “He was doing so well, after the surgery. He went to counseling…”

”Sometimes it doesn’t take right away.” Sadness flickered in Clark’s eyes.

“I know.” This time it was Diana who squeezed Clark’s hand.

He sighed. “Have you checked on him?”

“Once, from afar. He was walking the beach by himself.”

“You said he’s in northern Maine?” Diana nodded. “Pretty cold at this time of year.”

“I know. I…I just worry.” 

Sympathy shimmered in Clark’s eyes. “It’s not easy.”

“It is not.” Diana adjusted her tiara. “I fear for my love.”

“I know. Have you heard from him?”

Diana shook her head, dashing away a tear. “He…he is…”

“…pushing you away?” At Diana’s nod, Clark sighed. “I’m sorry, Diana. It’s not unexpected, though. Steve was hurt badly.”

“He does not feel worthy of me.”

“I know.” Clark squeezed her hand again. “I know it’s hard, but have a little more patience. And it’s not your fault, not any of it, not any more than it’s Steve’s.”

Diana sighed. “Intellectually, I know that, but my heart says differently.”

“It’s tough, isn’t it?” She looked at him and he continued, “We’re two of the most powerful people on the planet, and sometime we can’t help the ones we love the most.”

Tears shimmered in her eyes.

& & & & & &

Diana tried to get some sleep that night in her quarters on the Watchtower, but it was difficult as she replayed her last conversation with Steve over-and-over in her mind:

& & & & & &

_“Stop smothering me!” Steve snapped._

_Diana blinked. They were standing in the kitchen of Steve’s home._

_“Steve, I…”_

_“You’re at work, at home, always hovering! I don’t need a nursemaid!”_

_Diana quickly clamped down on a rush of anger. She knew where Steve’s hostility was coming from._

_“I am sorry, my darling. I will leave.”_

_She turned to go but a strong hand grasped her arm. Turning back, she clearly saw Steve’s misery._

_“I’m sorry, Angel,” he whispered._

_Diana drew him into an embrace, both of them clinging to each other._

_When they broke apart, Steve brushed a lock of hair back from Diana’s eyes._

_“I have to leave, Angel.”_

& & & & & &

Diana stared at the starlit patterns dancing across the ceiling. She remembered a lot more than that last conversation.

She remembered finding Steve battered and bloody after he had been brutally raped on G’darra, a planet ravaged by war, and when he came back to consciousness, he did not remember anything about the attack until it had burst over him like water breaking over a dam. 

Her precious love had suffered so much, and continued to do so.

If only she could help.


	3. "Just You And Me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Diana are not doing well apart.

  
_The cold, cold sea,_   
_Just you and me,_   
_The waves crash down_   
_All around,_   
_The cold, cold sea,_   
_Just you and me._   


  


**Allison Gentry**   
**“The Cold, Cold Sea”**   
**1986 C.E.**

Steve shivered violently, curled up on his side in bed. He was hot and cold at the same time, his mind as numb as his limbs.

He could hear the breath rattling in his chest, searing through him as his thoughts tumbled over-and over through his head, the nightmare always there on the edge, pushing to take center stage.

& & & & & &

_Images tumbled through his fevered mind, mixing the good with the bad, weight pressing down on his back as Diana smiled at him, hand outstretched, his heart breaking as she danced away, out of his reach, out of his life…_

_He tried to call her, plead for help, sharp teeth and nails raking his skin, draining hot blood, he was so very, very hot, icy fingers of cold wrapping around his heart…_

_Diana turned around-and-around, white dress swirling in lazy arcs as her long, dark hair floated in a cloud of loveliness as she crooned, “Beloved.”_

_“Yes, I am,” he sobbed._

_“Not worthy,” she sang._

_“I know,” he whispered._

_She smiled as he gasped for breath, cold waves crashing over his head and washing over him, freezing his limbs as pain sliced deep inside him, deep between his legs, fire burning through flesh-and-bone and lancing up his spine as he fought, so tired, so **very** tired, sliding through the waves as the undertow pulled him down, down, down…_

& & & & & &

Wonder Woman ducked as the laser nearly sliced through her head. The next laser burst was met by her bracelets as she expertly parried, her anger at Angle Man growing.

How dare this little, petty man think he could best an Amazon! Foolish man.

Wonder Woman dashed forward, playing Bullets ‘N’ Bracelets with the laser beams, her expression angry.

Angle Man laughed. “You can’t dodge all of my laser beams, Amazon!”

Wonder Woman alighted on the top of the Prudential Tower, shocking the supervillain. She swirled her Golden Lasso and it settled around Angle Man, pulling his arms tight against his sides.

“Foolish man,” she snarled. 

Angle Man’s eyes flickered at her vehemence. What was up with the Amazon Princess?

Wonder Woman deposited him none-too-gently on the sidewalk, the Boston Police Department hurrying to take the sputtering villain into custody.

Wonder Woman didn’t even wait to chat. She just flew off, the police officers puzzled.

She dashed away a tear as she called for her invisible plane.

& & & & & &

_“Mmm, you smell so good, Angel.”_

_Steve nuzzled his Angel’s hair, holding her close. She loved the smell of his cologne. She loved the smell of **him.**_

_Her arms went around him and she laughed, their lips meeting. Aphrodite beat in her breast as she backed him up against the wall, tongues entwining as she pressed against his groin…_

& & & & & &

Diana banked the plane toward the north and the windswept coast of Maine, then shook her head and turned around. 


	4. Tea-By-The-Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve receives a visitor to the cottage.

  
_Tea by-the-sea,_   
_Soothes the restless soul,_   
_And empathy_   
_Soothes the wounded soul._   


  


**Sir Henry Blacknell**  
  
 **“A Life Lived By-The-Sea”**   
**1861 C.E.**

Steve walked around the kitchen while he waited for the tea to boil. He picked up a plate, considered cutting a slice of lemon cake, put the plate back, nearly dropped the teacup as he pulled it out of the cabinet, walked over to the window and looked out at the sea which was as restless as he felt. He crossed his arms, listening to the sound of the old-fashioned sun-shaped wall clock ticking loudly in the silence. 

He was grateful for the bulkiness of his dark-blue sweater. Despite adequate heating in the cottage, he was always cold, and that had been before his plunge into the sea.

Of course, it was a miracle that he hadn’t died of pneumonia after his impromptu dip in the ocean.

He rubbed his fingers along his arm as he watched the white-capped waves. He remembered the mind-numbing cold, the urge to just slip away and let the waves close in over his head and sweep him away.

Did he really want to come out of the frigid Atlantic? He must have, or else why had he struggled back onto the beach, gasping for breath?

He missed his Angel.

The teakettle began to whistle and he went to the stove, removing the kettle and placing it on another burner, pouring a cup. He sat down at the wooden table, admiring the old-fashioned décor of the room, the cabinets and stove designed in Art Deco style, the blondwood cabinets sporting shiny silver knobs. The curtains were blue-checked gingham, the teakettle shiny copper, and he wished he could stop feeling like he was fragmenting into a million pieces of shattered glass, the shards jagged and bleeding.

He almost dropped the cup as a knock sounded on the door. Warily he stood. “Who is it?”

“A friend.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he recognized the voice and opened the door.

The Batman slipped into the kitchen, cape swirling in the restless wind. Steve quickly closed the door against the cold. “Ummm…glad to see you.” Suddenly fear grabbed his heart. “Is Diana all right?”

Batman turned and nodded.

Puzzled, Steve asked, “Would you like some tea?”

Batman removed his cowl. “Thanks. It is pretty cold out there.”

Steve poured his guest a cup of tea, bringing it over to the table and setting cup and saucer in front of Bruce, who sat down in one of the chairs while removing his gauntlets.

“Thank you.”

Steve sat down, curiosity in his blue eyes. “So everything’s fine?”

Bruce sipped his hot tea gratefully. “Diana’s fine, Steve. So are your family and Hal.”

Relieved, Steve sipped his own bracing tea. “So, what are you doing, checking up on me?” he asked with a hard-edged tone.

“Not exactly.” Bruce set his cup back in its saucer, the slight clatter jangling Steve’s nerves.

“Well, I don’t need a babysitter, Bat or otherwise,” Steve snapped. He hated the irrational anger building up in him, and resented Bruce for bringing it out.

“I know how you feel.”

Steve snorted. “I doubt that.”

“Don’t doubt it.”

Steve stopped in mid-sneer, something in midnight-blue eyes making his own widen. 

“You…?” he choked.

Bruce nodded slowly.

“I…I’m…” Steve didn’t know what to say.

“About three years ago. I was out of sight for awhile if you remember.”

Steve nodded numbly. Bruce’s face was set, his mouth in a grim line, but Steve saw the pain in his eyes.

It was like looking into a mirror.

“It happened on an alien planet, too. There was no elemental fear of the Bat in those people as with ours.

“I was captured and without my weapons. My captors…my rapists…had nothing but contempt for prisoners. Their culture demanded suicide rather than surrender. They had no compunctions about acting out their contempt for me.”

Bruce’s fingers curled around his teacup’s handle, the yellow rose pattern sunny against the bone china. His voice was calm, but Steve could hear the tremor underneath. 

“Clark found me.”

Steve stifled a wince. He knew that Diana had found him…after.

“He was devastated, of course. When I woke up, I couldn’t remember anything, but it all came crashing down on me soon enough. Before the memories came back, I knew something was wrong in the way Clark kept looking at me, his tension that I could feel…and when I remembered, I pushed him away. Situation normal.”

Steve sipped his tea, his throat terribly dry. He tried to ignore the shaking of his hand.

“I nearly destroyed myself and Clark.” Bruce put down his teacup. “He kept blaming himself, of course. The most powerful man on Earth, and he wasn’t there to save me.” He sighed softly. “People like Clark and Diana sometimes suffer despite all their powers.”

Silence fell over the room, broken only by the tick of the clock on the wall and the muffled sound of the sea.

Steve felt his stomach knot. "I…I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“I know.”

Steve looked into those midnight-blue eyes.

“Help me.”

& & & & & &

Diana was bone-tired. She did not wear helplessness well.

Worry filled her nights and days. Steve would have to survive with his own strength, but she feared that without help, the journey would be too taxing.

She still felt bereft. She missed Steve. She missed his smile, his easy charm, his gentle teasing. She loved his generous heart, his strength of will, his Apollonian beauty.

She missed the man who understood her in ways that no one else could.

“Diana!”

She looked up from her spot on the cliff overlooking Boston Harbor, a favorite place of hers to come to for quiet time. 

“Hola, Clark!”

“Hola, Princess!” Blue eyes sparkled as Superman lowered himself to float a few feet away from her. Diana stood up from the boulder she’d been sitting on. “Wait here. I have a surprise for you.” He flew off. 

Intrigued, Diana waited, feeling a little better. Clark always had that effect on people.

A twig snapped behind her and she turned, her eyes widening as her heart leapt.

Steve stood there, Batman several feet behind him, staying in the shadows of the trees. Her lover looked a little nervous, and she tried to hide her shock at how gaunt Steve looked, his clothes a little loose on him, but he smiled.

“Beloved,” Diana breathed.

She ran to him, and he put his arms around her.

“I want to tell you, Angel, that…I need you. I…can’t do this alone.”

Diana nearly sobbed but said, “I am here, my love. Together, no matter how painful the journey, we will prevail.”

Diana smoothed Steve’s hair while holding him tightly as he trembled slightly.

Clark floated down next to Bruce, sliding an arm around his lover’s shoulders, Bruce smiling slightly as he twined his hand with Clark’s.


End file.
